Blogs / Life

Why I don’t say “It’s Okay” when someone apologizes

In today’s society when someone apologizes, we often respond, “It’s okay.”

And this drives me absolutely crazy!

The reason why someone is apologizing in the first place is because they did something that was the complete opposite of “okay.” For instance, in a show I was watching (some medical drama), the nurse did something stupid that could have cost someone their life and when she apologized, they said, “It’s okay.”

It. was. not. okay. Someone could have died!

Now, a lot of times in our own experiences we are not dealing with life-or-death situations. However, our experiences are just as important to us. If someone does something wrong, something hurtful, that requires an apology, we should not turn around and comfort them saying, “It’s okay.”

Not only does it make light of their action, but it also diminishes their apology.

Instead, I respond to an apology saying either:

“I forgive you” or “I accept and appreciate your apology.”

These two phrases are healthier for many reasons. These phrases:

  • Maintains that the action was wrong and requires forgiveness
  • Allows the person apologizing to accept accountability
  • Emphasizes that the person accepting the apology understands the wrongness but chooses to forgive anyone.

We cannot continue to tell people it “is okay” when it is not. We should forgive, but forgiveness can only come when we admit that there is something to forgive.

What do you think?

How do you respond when someone apologizes to you?

Sorry

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