Poetry

A Wrong Diagnosis

A prognosis of three years

That turned into three months

That changed to three weeks

Ended Abruptly.

This month would have been my Papa’s birthday and his wedding anniversary. I miss him so much.

Love you Papa.

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Poetry

Again

I cried again for you today

She didn’t know, you see?

She didn’t realize that you had passed.

So I had to talk about you again

About your pain and your passing

And I cried again

But I cry for me, not you,

And I cried less today then I did the time before

So maybe the next time

I’ll cry even less.

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

Loss and Laughter

It’s so good

That she remembers how to laugh

Even when the laughter

Can’t reach

her eyes.

 

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

The Five Stages: Acceptance

Is it surrender or acceptance that I feel?

When I know your gone, but I wish it wasn’t real?

When I walk in your home, and wish to see your face?

When there is an emptiness, a void, that cannot be replaced?

 

Have I accepted that you are truly gone?

Does going to work mean that I have moved on?

Have I accepted that the world has changed?

That our lives have now and forever been re-arranged?

 

Have I reached acceptance?

That mysterious fifth and final stage?

 

I accept and believe that this is not the end

I accept and believe that I will one day see you again

Side-by-side-by-side, our family will reunite in Heaven

Side-by-side with Christ, who has rescued and forgiven.

 

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

The Five Stages: Depression

Condensed, thick fog

Surrounds my brain

Useless hands hang idly by

We were talking about . . .

something . . .

Weren’t we? But have you

noticed how foggy it is today?

How it muffles the sounds

And it suffocates the sights

How it blurs the ability to take in

And halts the ability to extend out

We were talking about . . .

something . . .

Weren’t we? But have you

noticed the fog?

 

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

The Five Stages: Bargaining

It’s the “what if’s”

And “If only’s”

That causes our sleepless nights

 

What if the doctors had listened

Had given weight to his claims of pain

 

If only we had known sooner

Had realized how time would fly so quickly

 

Yes, it’s the “what if’s”

And “if only’s”

That flicker through our minds

 

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

The Five Stages: Anger

The record turns and wobbles

Scratched screams and sobs echo from the vinyl

But before it goes on to long

Let me set the record straight

 

There is no anger against you

You were a fighter, a champion

And even though we lost you

You did not lose

 

There is no anger against God

Who said no to a miracle,

But said yes to ending

Your pain.

 

There is anger against the Devil

Anger against sin, anger against

The sickness, the cancer that

ravaged you body.

 

There is anger when I think

Of what you will miss

But there is no anger

Against you.

 

There could never be anger

Against you.

 

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Blogs / Life

My Papa, A Small Tribute

On January 14th at 5pm, my Papa heard the call of God and went home to Heaven while surrounded by his wife and family. This last summer, only seven months ago, he was diagnosed with an aggressive lung and bone cancer, and he fought it with all his might. He never gave up, because he loved his family.

My Papa taught me so many things growing up. He taught me the importance of hard work and perseverance. He taught me to stand when I had fallen, he taught me how to laugh even in pain. He taught me how to love. He loved my Nana with a love more evident and true than I have ever seen. He loved her whole-heartedly for nearly 54 years. His love inspires me in my upcoming marriage. His love encourages me to be honest, faithful, true, and full of laughter. I strive to one day have a love similar to that of my Papa and my Nana.

When I was younger, my Papa would ask me to sing in front of his friends because he knew I loved to sing. Later on, he would read my writings, my fiction stories, and always provide feedback on what worked and what could be better. I remember one vacation, he sat on the balcony of our hotel for hours reading my book and telling me “This is good.” Throughout my entire life, he encouraged me and reminded me that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. It is because of him that I was brave enough to work on becoming an author.

My Papa will not see me walk down the aisle. He will not read my book when it gets published. But it is BECAUSE of my Papa that I strive for a loving marriage. It is BECAUSE of my Papa that I will keep working toward my goals. His memory will continue to propel me forward and when I see him again in Heaven, we will have a lot to catch up on.

I love you Papa. I will miss you, more so than I can say, but I am so glad you are no longer in pain. I love you.

Poetry

Your Arms

Are my stronghold

When I have no strength

I walk through these halls

I hold it it and smile

I nod, even though I never

Heard the question

My brain is numb

Although I swear I can hear

My heart cracking

Inch

By

Inch

But I must be

Strong

Mustn’t I?

Except for when you are around

Except for when I am held

Protected, safe, sheltered

In your arms

When I can allow myself

To be weak

And to weep

As I hear my hear

My heart shatter

Piece

By

Piece

©KaylaAnnAuthor

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.