Blogs / Life

Why I don’t say “It’s Okay” when someone apologizes

In today’s society when someone apologizes, we often respond, “It’s okay.”

And this drives me absolutely crazy!

The reason why someone is apologizing in the first place is because they did something that was the complete opposite of “okay.” For instance, in a show I was watching (some medical drama), the nurse did something stupid that could have cost someone their life and when she apologized, they said, “It’s okay.”

It. was. not. okay. Someone could have died!

Now, a lot of times in our own experiences we are not dealing with life-or-death situations. However, our experiences are just as important to us. If someone does something wrong, something hurtful, that requires an apology, we should not turn around and comfort them saying, “It’s okay.”

Not only does it make light of their action, but it also diminishes their apology.

Instead, I respond to an apology saying either:

“I forgive you” or “I accept and appreciate your apology.”

These two phrases are healthier for many reasons. These phrases:

  • Maintains that the action was wrong and requires forgiveness
  • Allows the person apologizing to accept accountability
  • Emphasizes that the person accepting the apology understands the wrongness but chooses to forgive anyone.

We cannot continue to tell people it “is okay” when it is not. We should forgive, but forgiveness can only come when we admit that there is something to forgive.

What do you think?

How do you respond when someone apologizes to you?



© KaylaAnn and, 2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Agency Games

The Agency Games: An Update (2)

Hey Everyone, here is my monthly update on my book: (working title) The Agency Games!

The Agency Games is a nonfiction book which analyzes human agency within the popular Hunger Games trilogy. I will be doing in-depth character analyses of individuals such as: Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, Gale Hawthorne, Haymitch Abernathy, Cinna, Primrose Everdeen, and more in trying to understand how human agency is discovered, maintained, tested, lost, and regained in a dystopian society and how that relates to us as readers.

On January 22nd, 2018, I posted by first update. I was at a total of 22,000 words and 88 pages.

The goal was to write approximately 500 words per day so that I can meet my goal of 75,000 words by May 31st to send to the publishers. As you might remember, I had a slight bump in the road when I had to completely re-do my Cinna and Haymitch chapter.

There were 31 days in between January 22nd and February 22nd, meaning that at 500 words per day, I should have written approximately 15,500 words with a grand total of 37,500 words. So, let’s see how I did. . .

Image result for drum roll please gif


As of February 22nd, 2018, I have a grand total. . .

41,000 Words!

I knew I was on track, but it turns out I was actually doing more than I thought. Between January 22nd and February 22nd, I wrote 19,000 words!

February Chart
The red shows my word count for January The blue shows my word count as of February The Green shows my Goal for May 31st

I am over halfway to my goal! And it feels a lot like this:

Image result for Caesar shouting gif hunger games


As great as this feels, I cannot slack off now! I still need 34,000 words and that requires the same level of dedication and accountability as before. I would love to finish all the rough drafts early so that I have more time to go over it as a whole before sending it to the editors, but we shall see!

Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me, supported me, and reminded me to write.

**A Special Shout-out to TShaw who has been my writing buddy for months and  E. Michael Helms who continuously reminds me to stay on track with my writing goals!