Poetry

Acceptance

Is it surrender or acceptance that I feel?

When I know your gone, but I wish it wasn’t real?

When I walk in your home, and wish to see your face?

When there is an emptiness, a void, that cannot be replaced?

 

Have I accepted that you are truly gone?

Does going to work mean that I have moved on?

Have I accepted that the world has changed?

That our lives have now and forever been re-arranged?

 

Have I reached acceptance?

That mysterious fifth and final stage?

 

I accept and believe that this is not the end

I accept and believe that I will one day see you again

Side-by-side-by-side, our family will reunite in Heaven

Side-by-side with Christ, who has rescued and forgiven.

 

In honor of my Papa who passed away last year, January 14th, I will be re-posting my grief poems in the hopes that those who read these poems know that they are not alone and that our loved ones are not forgotten.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

Depression

Condensed, thick fog

Surrounds my brain

Useless hands hang idly by

We were talking about . . .

something . . .

Weren’t we? But have you

noticed how foggy it is today?

How it muffles the sounds

And it suffocates the sights

How it blurs the ability to take in

And halts the ability to extend out

We were talking about . . .

something . . .

Weren’t we? But have you

noticed the fog?

In honor of my Papa who passed away last year, January 14th, I will be re-posting my grief poems in the hopes that those who read these poems know that they are not alone and that our loved ones are not forgotten.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

Bargaining

It’s the “what if’s”

And “If only’s”

That causes our sleepless nights

 

What if the doctors had listened

Had given weight to his claims of pain

 

If only we had known sooner

Had realized how time would fly so quickly

 

Yes, it’s the “what if’s”

And “if only’s”

That flicker through our minds

In honor of my Papa who passed away last year, January 14th, I will be re-posting my grief poems in the hopes that those who read these poems know that they are not alone and that our loved ones are not forgotten.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

The record turns and wobbles

Scratched screams and sobs echo from the vinyl

But before it goes on to long

Let me set the record straight

 

There is no anger against you

You were a fighter, a champion

And even though we lost you

You did not lose

 

There is no anger against God

Who said no to a miracle,

But said yes to ending

Your pain.

 

There is anger against the Devil

Anger against sin, anger against

The sickness, the cancer that

ravaged you body.

 

There is anger when I think

Of what you will miss

But there is no anger

Against you.

 

There could never be anger

Against you.

In honor of my Papa who passed away last year, January 14th, I will be re-posting my grief poems in the hopes that those who read these poems know that they are not alone and that our loved ones are not forgotten.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Uncategorized

In Honor of my Papa: Denial

Refusal

Deep-rooted in crystal clear understanding.

Rejection

Even though the mind has already accepted.

The fact that you have left us.

In honor of my Papa who passed away last year, January 14th, I will be re-posting my grief poems in the hopes that those who read these poems know that they are not alone and that our loved ones are not forgotten.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Poetry

Howl

I want to run

And howl

At the moon

Tearing off this skin

Ripping it to shreds

Revealing this bruised

Battered, damaged Creature

That resides within.

©KaylaAnnAuthor2020

© KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KaylaAnn and KaylaAnnAuthor.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Blogmas 2019

Blogmas Contest Winner

Before I announce the winner I would just like to say thank you to everyone who participated. You guys really did what I asked and engaged with one another in the comment section. So thank you for being a part of this Blogmas community this December!

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Now, to the contest!

There were many great submissions but my top three included:

Third Place:

The Ultimate Secret Santa Gift Guide by A Teen Called Tara: Looking for some great gifts for the loved ones (and not so loved ones) in your life? Secret Santa should no longer be difficult with these gift ideas from Tara! Check her out!

Second Place:

How to Survive (the family) Holidays – 13 Joyful Hacks – by A Fish Named Karen: While I am blessed to get along really well (with the majority) of my family, I know that this is not the same for everyone. Struggling to get through the holidays? Take a read, Karen’s got some great tips!

That mean the First Place Winner is . . .

Do You Believe? Written by the wonderful Eugenia

“Santa’s sleigh topsy-turvy

leaving a swath

of holiday drama.

Splendid gifts wrapped with care

lost in a quilt of clouds

for evah and evah!

But, wait! Elves to the rescue

and every gift retrieved!

Hey, li’l children

gather around coz

’tis no fallacy the

miracle on 34th street

is to be believed.”

Thank you again folks to everyone who participated! I hope that you all had wonderful Christmases.

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The Agency Games

The Manuscript Came In! Merry Christmas to Me!

As you probably read in my title, the official manuscript proofs for Agency in the Hunger Games came in last week and I could not be more excited! The manuscript proofs show me exactly what my book should look like in print. They are my last opportunity to read through the pages once again and double check for any typos or errors.

In addition to double checking for correctness, I am asked to create an Index for my book which sounds pretty straight forward, but I know will still take me quite some time. McFarland Publishing company has requested that I slowly, carefully, and meticulously double check through my book for errors and create this index, and return it by January 10th!

If you don’t hear from me (less than you do now), please know that I am here. I will simply be working diligently on my manuscript. Once I turn this manuscript back in, that will be my final submission for this book. After that, it is fully in the hands of the publishers and the next time I see my book, it will be a finished and polished copy that I can hold in my hands.

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Thank you for joining me over the past two years on this wonderful journey!

I cannot believe it is reaching its completion.

Blogs / Life

Blogmas: Our First Christmas Tree

This Christmas will be the first year that I am a wife. It’s the first Christmas that I will be able to wake up and say good morning to my husband right away. This Christmas, although we will still enjoy time with our families, we are finding new traditions of our very own.

One major tradition change this year is the cutting down of our own tree. In my family we always had fake trees (less expensive and less of a fire hazard), but my husband adores real trees. He had been talking about cutting down a real tree for our first marriage for years. I couldn’t deny him this Christmas magic and so we went off in search of a little tree that could fit in our small studio.

It was harder than I thought it would be since we both were drawn to the tall, looming, expansive trees. I was often the voice of reason (“No, my love, a 13ft tree cannot actually fit inside the house unless you’d like to remove the bed.”)

Finally we found the perfect one!

We each took turns cutting it. (Okay, I took a very, very short turn and then gave the saw back to my husband. In my defense, I was also fighting a sickness that day.)

Finally, we had our tree ready to take home!

I was still a little nervous about it fitting in the small spot we had set aside for it, but of course, the hubby was right! It fit perfectly so we set to decorating it!

This is my favorite new tradition.

What are some of your favorite traditions for the Christmas season?

Blogmas 2019

More than a Manger…

Matthew 2:1-3, “Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.” King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem.” 

Around the holidays, there is inevitable controversy about one thing or another: Starbucks cups, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ, the actual date of Jesus’s birth, etc., etc., etc. This is nothing new.

Christmas has always been controversial. – Pastor Matthew Brown

One of the greatest controversies perhaps is concerning Jesus Christ himself. Jesus Christ is more than just a baby in a manger, in fact, his life did not start in that manger. Long before that manger, Jesus existed as the Word.

I John 1:1-5, “In the beginning the Word (Jesus) already existed. The Word (Jesus) was with God, and the Word (Jesus) was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him (Jesus). The Word (Jesus) gave life to everything that was created, and his life (Jesus’s life) brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.” 

Indeed, Jesus did not come into existence, instead He existed with God in the very beginning of God. Jesus is the guiding force behind all creation.

  • The book of Matthew starts the story by tracing Jesus’s lineage back to Abraham (the father of Judaism)
  • The book of Luke starts the story of Jesus by tracing his lineage to Adam (the father of mankind)
  • The book of John starts the story of Jesus by going back to the Beginning – Jesus has always existed

“In the beginning the Word (Jesus) already existed.” John 1:1.

700 years previously, the prophet Micah shared God’s words, “But as for you, Bethlehem . . . Too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you One will go forth for Me to be ruler in Israel. His goings forth are from long ago, from the days of eternity.” Micah 5:2

Jesus, having always existed, humbled himself and reduced himself to a human baby born in an unknown town. Christmas may cost you money, it may cost you time, but for God, it cost him everything to send his son to live among us and to share his good news.

To Watch this Excellent Message for Yourself, please click here

You can attend online like me!

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Just included this song because I love it

 

“. . . Now I’m not one to second guess
What angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the
World

To think of how it could have been
If Jesus had come as He deserved
There would have been no Bethlehem
No lowly shepherds at His birth . . .”