Can we all just be honest and authentic for a couple of minutes?
I am encouraging ALL of you to be willing to be vulnerable in the comment section. Anyone who is serious about writing has most likely received some sort of rejection in their lives. Maybe it was not an official rejection letter, maybe it was some peer review (from family or friends) that did not go as you expected.
Writing is hard, and rejection/criticism makes it harder. But I think the thing that is so detrimental about rejection is when we think that we are alone in our rejection. We think, “This is a personal reflection on ME.”
I am hoping to combat this idea and the isolation that can be a result of rejection by encouraging you to comment below your own experiences with rejection. As a writing community, let us come together to share our own struggles.
So, if you are up for it, in the comment section please answer:
Have you ever experienced rejection for your writing? If so, was the rejection kind or harsh? And more importantly, how did you respond/handle the rejection? What advice would you give to someone who just received their 1st, 2nd, 3rd rejection letter?
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KaylaAnn 
I took a poetry writing class for one semester and I’ve never written a poem before, so I went to my professor to show her my draft and she simply said that it was childish and no good when it came to subject and format. What I wrote wasn’t what she was looking for when it came to the topic she gave us to write on.
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Wow that is so harsh, especially for a teacher (who sounds like she failed to teach what she expected). Although, you’re experience really does speak to subjectivity, it “wasn’t what she was looking for.” I’ve read many of your works and I enjoy them!
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Yeah, she wanted the class to write like her. The thing is, in the middle of the session she was being dismissive of me even though I still had a few more questions, so I was like, ‘Wow, my poem was that bad for you to not want to deal with me a little more, huh?”
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Geez! Ignore that!
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I did, but I had to write like her to get an A. 😦
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Teachers shouldn’t teach like that, sorry you went through that!
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Mine is a little different, but when I have shared other people’s posts on my site, and they receive more likes than my own posts. I just try to not let it slow me down, and see if there is anything I can learn from how they write.
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It is different but requires the same sort of responses: the ability to accept and grow.
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I’ve been ignored which I interpret as rejection….I don’t have any advice because I’m stalled…🙃
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That is the worst when publishing houses don’t even send a rejection letter because then you are just left in limbo! Have you gotten an peer review?
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Yes I sent out partial manuscripts or chapters to readers. But I’m…stalling. 🙄
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Ahhh procrastination, a writer’s best frienemy.
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I think the hardest rejection was from my mother. I had just published my first poetry book, handed it to her, she got misty eyed, then proceeded to read and point out various “wrongs”. Now I realize some people aren’t meant to read poetry but wow. Needless to say, I have not given her my last 5 books. 😳
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Oh wow… that is so rough and wrong. At that point, it’s published, the constructive critique is not helpful especially from someone who should support first and then give advice. It’s even worse because she probably thought she was being helpful…
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Exactly. I finally told her to stop it, but this was after book 4. Like I said, she doesn’t get them anymore,
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Probably the best decision.
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I think so. Thanks.
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Various formulaic rejections for me, mostly. I’ve sent two serious manuscripts out to publishers, both have been rejected twenty-odd times. Additionally, I’ve had a couple of rejections for the few short stories I’ve penned. They hurt oddly little, but then I guess I’ve had my skin toughened during the years of my creative writing studies. The studies are, in fact, where I’ve had my more interesting rejections, if such a word can be used. 😀
I’ve been highly interested in feedback ever since those times, actually. We were taught many kinds of gentle feedback methods, but I still found that even the kindest feedback with the best intentions could really hurt me or my friends. Also, even with training, feedback oftenest seemed to take oppositional forms – we sort of attacked each other when giving feedback. Kindly, subtly, indirectly, but attacked regardless.
…and when anyone is attacked, they hurt. Even if they’ve developed a thick skin. So, my chief interest in the whole feedback question is, how do we give it without presenting it as an attack?
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Alice, there’s a lot to dissect here. First, wow I am impressed by you! Sending out a manuscript that many times takes the kind of perseverance I hope to develop!
I hear what you’re saying about feedback. I’ve been in a couple of creative writing classes where we would always start off with what we loved and then go into any questions we might have about the text or moments of confusion that could benefit from clarity. In my experience, it hurt a little until I realized that they were genuinely trying to help me because they did love my work and they wanted it to succeed. I think writing groups are successful if they are composed of the correct people.
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Naw, I sent them to all the places at once. Pretty much all the perseverance I needed was in sending all them e-mails en masse. 😀 What griped me more, in fact, was that a lot of places didn’t respond at all…
You’re right on the money there. Familiarity, too, goes a long way. I’m part of a writing group that’s around seven years old now, and because we’ve suffered each other for so long, we’re pretty cozy. Helps with feedback a lot. 😀
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Oh yea, that is so frustrating! I would take a rejection letter over no letter any day. Otherwise, you feel like you’re left in limbo.
Wow seven years! That’s amazing
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Yeah, I think closure is important, even if you do get rejected in the end. I’m over it by now, though. 🙂
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I’ve collected hundreds of rejections over the years–some in black and white, some by no response whatsoever. It’s disheartening but you can choose to move on or to let it effect you. I moved on and self-published. I never got any feedback from the rejections to help either.
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You’re so right, we can (and should) choose to move past the rejection and just focus on our ultimate goals.
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p.s.–I love the picture you used. Could I possibly put it on my blog? (The quill with the quote.)
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Go for it! I grabbed from the internet so it’s not mine.
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Great, thank you! Wanted to double check either way.
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I appreciate that!
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🙂
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