My Bookshelf

Post-Book Depression

We’ve all experienced it, haven’t we? That dread that begins to creep up on you as you near the end of your favorite book or trilogy. You start to read slowly instead of quickly because you don’t want to turn the page when there are so few left. So instead, you pause, reread a certain phrase, stop in a moment because you know that all too soon, you will have to say goodbye to these characters.

(Spoilers Alert!)

As a reward for finishing my manuscript, I took this weekend to reread an older series that I only ever read once back in middle school. The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini follows a young farmer boy named Eragon who is thrust into a world of magic, love, politics, and danger when he encounters a dragon egg in the Spine. His story spans four books, over 3,000+ pages. Maybe you have heard of this brilliant series?

Paolini wrote the first books while still in his teens. Paolini was one of the first authors who inspired me during my youth that age was not a deterrent to becoming a great author. Regardless of his youth, Paolini self-published Eragon and spent a year promoting his own work until it was picked up and re-published traditionally.

These past four days, I lost myself in pages that I remembered whimsically and was able to digest the story in a whole new light. There were things I had forgotten, or not understood back then, things I had taken for granted. Now as a story teller myself, I can image the pain-staking detail that went into Paolini’s work. Indeed, because of my own maturity, this time felt like the first time reading the series. As I sped through the pages, I endlessly devoured the old story until I suddenly realized I only had a few pages left. Suddenly I was terrified, I didn’t want the story to end (especially since I remembered how it ended).

But finished, I did.

And I was left with this overwhelming melancholy, this feeling that I had lost someone. In fact I had lost many someones and somethings: I lost the opportunity to ever ride on the back of Saphire with Eragon, I lost the ability to walk through Ellesmera with Ayra, I never got the chance to see Murtaugh happy or Roran rebuild his home with his family. Of course I can always reread, but there is something lost after that initial read, after the first time that you truly understand a series. I’ve searched online for a word that adequately describes how an individual feels after finishing a book and most refer to it as “Post-Book Depression,” which is mostly accurate. But not entirely, as I was not only sad but happy and also longing for more…

Instead of saying that I had Post-Book Depression, I propose a new word: Saudade.

It is a Portuguese folk word that is practically untranslatable in most languages. But generally it means:

A deep emotional state of melancholic longing for someone or something that is absent.

Indeed, this word helps describe how I feel every time I come to the ending of something beautiful. The characters that I read in every book are not only characters to me. They are alive in my imagination, teaching me, directing me, warning me, instructing me, encouraging me. It is the characters that stay, long after the words fade.

Do you too suffer from Saudade after finishing a new book or series?

©KaylaAnnAuthor

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87 thoughts on “Post-Book Depression”

  1. I know exactly how you feel! It takes me forever to finish books, partly because I want them to last as long as possible. You have also inspired me to reread Paolini. Thank you! Truly amazing that he was able to craft such a masterpiece at a young age.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now that they’re over I wish I had taken longer to read the books, oh well, lesson learned for the next time 🙂
      He is definitely an inspiration, no doubt about that!
      Thanks for commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’s a beautiful word! There are so many “untranslatable” words out there that are simply breath-taking.
      I’ve heard about them in my reading but I haven’t listened to many myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I still haven’t finished this series. I read “Eragon” and “Eldest” but not the other two. Have you ever read the Pendragon series? I liked it a lot more than “The Inheritance Cycle” by Paolini. I was reading the two series at the same time when I was in middle school.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve never even heard about the Pendragon series! Is it set in the same world? Or entirely different?
      I encourage you to finish the series! I enjoyed them a lot more as an adult than I did in middle school

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s an entirely different series. It’s about a boy who can travel to different worlds to defeat the bad guys. One day I’m going to finish the series for sure. I need to know how it ends. I remember reading the big reveal in the second book and I was so excited for the next one but ended up stopping right there because my library didn’t have it.

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          1. Thank you! I bought the second book, but ended up donating it along with my entire book collection (My Harry Potter books, Dear America books and Cornelia Funke books. T_T).

            Liked by 1 person

              1. My family and I moved to a new house. I ended up taking my school books with me but not my personal book collection except for a few Jane Austen novels, because there wasn’t going to be enough room.

                Liked by 1 person

                  1. I personally like the “Dear America” series more than “Harry Potter”. A friend of mine almost had a heart attack when I told her that. That series made me cry so much. I’m going to purchase a few of my favorites series one day.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. They’re fictional books written in the form of diary entries from the perspective of different young girls living in America. Each book is based on American history. One book is about a girl who survives during the sinking of the Titanic. Another one is about a girl traveling to the west during the Gold Rush. My favorite book is the one about a girl who gets abducted by Native Americans in the 1700s.

                      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm…my cousin Mandy always talks about feeling this way, but the ending is always my favorite part! I’m happiest when I have closure, even if the story doesn’t tie up all the loose ends.

    Liked by 1 person

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